life has been a roller-coaster ride, each moment passing by unknowingly.
unknowingly to the mind, but nonetheless physically draining.
when the mind is idle, it keeps swirling like it's a dream.
i sleep to keep myself sane, and sometimes are thankful when work overwhelms me.
He says it's all in me. Undoubtedly i guess he is right.
Poisoned by the roots of evil . Blurring the lines of black and white.
So they say, a writer needs drama, i wonder how far it's true.
I never write, anymore when it's all good.
Perhaps deep inside i yearn for this, when things are smooth-sailing,
there's nothing worthy of writing.
Perhaps i created all these, fabricating all these dark moments.
So that i could write, from within my bones.
Between two extremes, i could write a book if i wish.
But i guess you could see, from the fragments of my writings,
my mind is scattered, decomposed, without a storyline.
my attention span lasts no longer than 5 sentence and it scatters away.
It's been a long time since i felt proud of myself,
I had a dream this afternoon, a scary moment but it felt so real.
To those who knows me, knows im a true devil and angel.
sometimes the other overwhelms the latter, and vice versa.
the transition is scary, to me and to people surrounding me.
the pain is throbbing, to you i know.
to see me sitting on the fence, you don't deserve this,
tormenting your mind, inflicting pain to your fragility.
till i have found my purpose in life, i then will wake up with a smile
and thinking all these makes it all worthwhile.
